


The void where you should be

by AliaMael



Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Angst, Gen, Past Brainwashing, Post-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21588274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliaMael/pseuds/AliaMael
Summary: He wanted Megumi back, that was all there was to it.
Relationships: Kiryu "Joshua" Yoshiya & Kitaniji Megumi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	The void where you should be

**Author's Note:**

> This year, my TWEWYtober inspires me to write anything BUT the prompts, apparently. Enjoy? ^^"

Joshua took a breathe he didn't need. In his hand, the Pin containing Megumi's Soul felt both unbearably heavy and light as a feather. He didn't know what to do with him.

Well. He knew what he _wanted_ to do. He was just unsure it was the right thing to do.

When Megumi lost, Joshua hadn't been able to Erase him right away. These weeks had been too hectic, too many things had changed, and he had found himself unable to take a decision. So he had put Megumi in stasis to buy himself some time.

Now, he had all the time in the world. Shibuya was thriving. Neku was… living, and Joshua _was_ jealous of the fact his _living_ friends could hang out with him, but he knew he couldn't do the same. He could tune down all he wanted, it would never be enough to keep problems from emerging if he tried spending too much time in the RG. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see Sanae, not after that shit he pulled with Taboo, but the choice had been taken from him anyway, with the way Sanae had gone into hiding.

He missed him.

For years, Sanae and Megumi had been his only… dared he say "friends"? Sanae had been friendly at least, even if his status of Producer should have prevented them from really bonding. Megumi on the other hand… Megumi had treated him like a God, with respect, adoration, but not friendship. Still he had been the only person close to him other than Sanae.

And now he was alone. Alone with the Soul of Megumi he could code back into his unliving body with only a thought.

Megumi had lost. But he had lost fighting for Shibuya not to be Erased, and that had been Joshua's final decision. So could he really blame Megumi for opposing him?

Megumi had been _right_ , in the end. (Even if his methods had been… surprising to say the least.)

Oh, who was he even trying to argue with? He wanted Megumi back, that was all there was to it. Megumi had been a constant since he had become Composer, and he didn't want to have anyone else at his side for the years to come.

So he slowly, softly closed his hand around Megumi's Pin and _brought him back_.

Megumi's body appeared on the bed Joshua had convoked for the occasion, expecting his Conductor to be disoriented at least. Megumi was curled up on himself, in fetal position, and Joshua felt unease slip tendrils around him. Something didn't feel right.

Joshua reached a hand to his Conductor and shivered. It was like touching a statue. Megumi was unmoving, and way too tense for someone still existing in the UG. Mechanically, Joshua pulled off Megumi's headphones and glasses. Like that, he looked both vulnerable and… maybe in pain?

Why wasn't he waking up?

Joshua put his fingertips on Megumi's temples (not that he needed it, but it grounded _him_ ) and brushed against Megumi's mind. On the surface, nothing. Not even dreamy, illogical threads of thought chasing each other without coherence.

Joshua slipped farther, and stopped, shocked.

When he became Composer, he often brushed against Megumi's surface thoughts. It was not that he wanted to spy on him, just that he was still learning to fine-tune his new power. At first, Megumi had been wary of him, which was understandable. Megumi had worked under the previous Composer, and Joshua had just Erased her. But there had always been respect, and it had soon be joined by admiration and… well, faith.

(Having Neku's _trust_ had been so novel Joshua still didn't know what to do of it.)

But Joshua had never delved farther inside of Megumi's psyche, and now he wondered if he should have.

On the inside, where the core of a person resided, Megumi was a puzzle with missing pieces. There was only _void_ where some things should have been –no memories of anything before he became Conductor, no self-preservation… And even where things were present, some edges were obviously cut and glued together.

No wonder Joshua had never been able to get a rise out of him. The previous Composer had made him into a perfect worshipper, leaving no place for doubt or even familiarity.

Now Joshua could see that the need to serve had already been present in Megumi's Soul, but it had been forcefully associated with the Composer. Megumi had already been prone to admiration, but it had been turned up to eleven.

He could change it all, but he couldn't _undo_ it. Rewriting people's mind was not something he did, but he was more than capable of it. The thing was, to put Megumi back as he had been _before_ , he would have needed to _know_ what the missing pieces were. And he had no clue.

He wanted to scream.

Instead, he reached to that part of Megumi that was so attuned to the Composer's frequency that he couldn't wake up without his touch.

Megumi's whole body went lax, finally looking _asleep_ and not like a puppet without strings. Joshua let out a relieved sigh and couldn't help slipping his fingers into Megumi's hair, petting him lightly.

"… Sir?"  
"I'm here. You're safe," Joshua replied without thinking.

He had been the one to almost Erase Megumi, but apparently he was not the only one overlooking this moment, because Megumi visibly relaxed into his touch.

It took him almost one full minute to realise his attitude was nowhere close to his standard of respect for the Composer and try to correct what he perceived as a fault. And only _then_ did he remember he was not supposed to exist still.

"What… Sir, I don't… understand…"  
"Shh, it's okay. Just let me…"

Joshua didn't finish his sentence, instead reaching once more to touch Megumi's head. The Conductor didn't even flinch, his faith too far anchored. Joshua went looking for that spark that had allowed him to oppose his God to protect Shibuya, found only ember, and gently rekindled the fire.

_That_ was a part of the true Megumi that the previous Composer had not destroyed, and he intended to protect it.

Megumi blinked, sensing the change but unable to pinpoint it.

"You were right to fight me," Joshua said. "Thank you."  
"Is… is that why I'm still here, Sir?"  
"Partly. But most importantly, I just didn't want to go on without you," Joshua admitted.

Megumi stared, shocked, before dropping his eyes with a muttered excuse for his lack of respect. Joshua smiled, bitterly. He didn't know what to do with his newfound understanding of Megumi's attitude, but at least now he had a chance to figure it out, and he would grab it with his two hands.


End file.
